RESOURCES · FREE FOR EVERYONE
Help keeping the people you love knowable.
Everything on this page is free to read, print, and share — no account, no signup. These guides work with a notebook and a phone; a DearestEllie archive is one place the results can live, never the price of admission.
When you are grieving, or about to be
Hard conversations
Telling your kids, a printable conversation planner, the timing questions, and what to do when family members remember it differently.
Grief, honestly answered
The 2am questions: Is it normal that I can't cry? That I'm relieved? I'm forgetting their voice. How long does this last?
Finding support
Organizations for your kind of loss, how to find a grief counselor, and local doors in Wilmington and southeastern NC.
Crisis & support lines
Free, confidential, 24/7 — and a plain answer to what actually happens when you call.
Tools for the hard weeks
The first-days checklist, an obituary writer, a eulogy helper, funeral costs explained, and the digital legacy checklist.
The question banks
Hundreds of questions worth asking while you can — for parents, grandparents, veterans, spouses, and the holiday table.
Alongside
A quiet companion for hard days: small practices, a gentle check-in, and one-line truths. Nothing tracked, nothing saved.
The Remembrance Curriculum
A free six-session facilitator program for hospice volunteers, activity directors, counselors, and faith communities.
Support for your situation
Deeper hubs for specific seasons — each with practical guidance, honest words, and the organizations that know that loss from the inside.
When memory is leaving: Alzheimer's and dementia
How to gather a lifetime of stories while they can still be told, how to visit the person as they are now, and how to carry the grief of losing someone who is still here.
13 min read
Living with a serious diagnosis: legacy work during illness
How a family facing serious illness can gather words, voice, and stories — at the ill person's pace, on their terms, without turning love into homework.
12 min read
Losing a baby: NICU, stillbirth, and miscarriage
For parents who lost a baby — in pregnancy, at birth, or in the NICU. What can be kept, what the years after look like, and why your grief is exactly the size it should be.
14 min read
When a child or teen dies — and when a young person grieves
Two guides in one: for parents surviving the death of a child or teenager, and for the adults caring for a child or teen who is grieving.
14 min read
Losing a brother or sister — the forgotten mourners
Sibling grief is routinely overlooked — at every age. On losing the person who knew your childhood, grieving in a family that's grieving too, and keeping the world only you two remember.
11 min read
When an animal companion dies
Grief for an animal is real grief — science says so, even when people don't. On euthanasia decisions and the guilt after, children's first loss, and remembering well.
10 min read
For families
How to help a grieving friend (without saying 'let me know if you need anything')
What actually helps after a loss — the specific offers, the words that comfort and the ones that wound, and how to still be there in month four when everyone else has gone home.
9 min read
How to ask a parent about their life
A gentle, practical guide to sitting down with a parent or grandparent and coming away with stories your family will keep forever.
8 min read
Recording a loved one's voice with the phone in your pocket
Voices fade from memory faster than faces. Here is how to capture one well with no equipment beyond a phone.
6 min read
Rescuing the shoebox: preserving family photographs
How to digitize a box of old photos without special equipment — and why the caption matters more than the scan.
7 min read
Building a remembrance archive without rushing your grief
After a loss, gathering memories can help — or hurt. How to do it at a pace that heals, alone or with family.
7 min read
Hosting a family memory night
Turn a reunion, holiday, or ordinary Sunday dinner into an evening that collects stories the whole family will keep.
6 min read
Bringing children into family history
Children are natural archivists — curious, unembarrassed, and full of questions adults have stopped asking. How to involve them well and safely.
6 min read
For hospices, libraries & community groups
Legacy work for hospice and palliative care teams
A practical introduction to memory and legacy projects for chaplains, social workers, and hospice volunteers supporting families.
8 min read
Running a life-stories workshop at your library or senior center
A ready-to-run program plan for librarians and activity coordinators: one hour, zero budget, and every participant leaves with a recorded story.
7 min read
Print & share
Ready-to-print PDFs for kitchen tables, program rooms, and bulletin boards. Print as many as you like; the only ask is that you leave the attribution line on the page.
Memory prompt cards
52 conversation-starting prompts as cut-out cards, grouped by theme — for memory nights, long drives, and visits that deserve better questions.
PDF · 8 pages
Legacy interview sheet
A one-sitting interview worksheet: preparation checklist, twelve questions that open doors, and space for notes. Made for recording a parent or grandparent.
PDF · 3 pages
Life-stories workshop guide
A facilitator's plan for a one-hour community workshop — timing, prompts, pairing tips, and handling tender moments. For libraries, senior centers, and hospice teams.
PDF · 2 pages
Community flyer
A print-ready notice for bulletin boards and program tables: an invitation to families to start keeping their stories, with our address to learn more.
PDF · 1 page
Classroom interview kit
An 'interview an elder' teaching unit for grades 4–12: a three-session lesson plan, a student question sheet, and a consent form for families. Recording only ever happens with family permission.
PDF · 3 pages
Supporter one-pager
The commons on one page for donors, funders, and partners: what DearestEllie is, what is always free, how the Family Memory Fund works, and what support makes possible.
PDF · 1 page
Interview kit: a grandparent
Nine questions fitted to a grandparent — the world they came from and what they carried out of it — with writing space and a recording checklist.
PDF · 2 pages
Interview kit: a parent
Ten questions for interviewing a parent — their life before you, and what raising you was really like — with writing space and a recording checklist.
PDF · 2 pages
Interview kit: a sibling
Nine questions for a brother or sister — the shared childhood only the two of you remember — with writing space and a recording checklist.
PDF · 2 pages
Interview kit: an oldest friend
Nine questions for the friend who has known them longest — decades of friendship told from the other chair — with writing space and a recording checklist.
PDF · 2 pages
Interview kit: a former colleague
Eight questions for someone who worked beside them — the third of life families rarely see — with writing space and a recording checklist.
PDF · 2 pages
Interview kit: a neighbor
Eight questions for a neighbor — life over the fence and the small daily kindnesses — with writing space and a recording checklist.
PDF · 2 pages
Why we built it this way
Grief-tech ethics notes
Short, honest essays on the design choices behind DearestEllie: why there are no engagement metrics, why AI output is always marked, and why export is free forever.
For the technically curious
Every archive exports in an open, documented format that outlives us — read the memory format specification.