Six sessions for keeping a life.
A complete facilitator program for the people who sit with families and elders every week — hospice volunteers, senior-center activity directors, school counselors, faith communities. Each session is a timed, 60-minute plan a first-time facilitator can run from the page, and each one ends with something real kept: a story, a captioned photo, a recorded voice.
It's free, and there is no license: run it, photocopy it, adapt it to your community. Attribution is appreciated, never required. If your organization would like a training conversation, write to [email protected] — and see our programs for how we work with partners.
Who this is for
Anyone who gathers people and wants to help them keep what matters. Hospice volunteers sitting with families in the last chapters. Activity directors with a Tuesday group and a room full of stories nobody has written down. School counselors working with grieving students. Faith communities that hold remembrance already and want a shape for it.
No qualifications are needed beyond care and preparation. You are never asked to be a counselor — the foundations below draw that boundary clearly, and every session says what to do when a moment needs more than a facilitator.
Facilitator foundations
Eight principles that run under every session. Read them before session one; reread them before session five.
01Permission, not pressure
Every activity in this curriculum is an invitation. Say so out loud at the start of every session: "Anything I ask, you can pass on, and nobody will ask why." Then honor it without a flicker of disappointment. One story freely given is worth fifty extracted, and the person who passes in week two often brings the best story in week four — because passing was safe.
02Silence is participation
The quiet person in the corner is often the one working hardest. Don't rush to fill silences — count to ten in your head before rescuing one — and never cold-call on anyone. When someone finishes speaking and the room goes still, that stillness is usually respect, not awkwardness. Let it finish.
03Tears aren't emergencies — but have an exit plan
Tears in these sessions are ordinary and healthy; don't stop the room for them. Keep tissues within arm's reach of every seat, so no one has to ask. And before the first session, know your exit plan: a quiet room or hallway a person can step out to, and — ideally — a co-facilitator or trusted helper who can go with them so nobody cries alone in a corridor.
04Confidentiality is said out loud, every time
Stories stay in the room unless the teller says otherwise. Repeat that norm at the start of every session, not just the first — people forget, and new people join. If a story needs to leave the room for a safety reason, tell the person first whenever possible. Trust is the whole infrastructure of this program.
05Record nothing without consent
The facilitator records nothing — no audio, no photos of people or their photographs — without clear, named consent, given before the recording starts and revocable at any time, including afterward. Participants record only themselves, or someone who has agreed by name. Consent is asked freshly each session; last week's yes is not this week's yes.
06The person owns the story
No correcting details, no fact-checking dates, no coaxing toward a "better" version, no finishing sentences. The story as they tell it is the story. If two family members remember it differently, both versions are true enough to keep — remembering is not a court proceeding.
07Know your one referral
You are a facilitator, not a counselor, and the kindest boundary is knowing where to point someone. Before your first session, learn your organization's referral path — the chaplain, social worker, or counselor on call — and keep 988 (call or text, 24/7) and the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741) written where you can find them without searching. You'll likely never need them. Know them anyway.
08Small and finished beats big and abandoned
The win condition of this entire program is one story, truly kept. Resist the urge to scale up — to promise a whole life history, a documentary, a book. Groups that aim small finish, and finishing is what families actually keep. If a session ends with one recording safely made, it succeeded.
The six sessions
Run them weekly, monthly, or as your group meets. Each links to a full plan — timed segments, facilitator notes, materials, and guidance for the tender moments — that prints cleanly.
The Remembrance Curriculum is free to use and adapt — no license, no fee, ever. Attribution (adapted from the DearestEllie Remembrance Curriculum) is appreciated. Organizations that want a training conversation, printed materials, or a partner relationship: write [email protected] or see programs.